There are just so many things that I want. It is very easy to convince myself that I really need them.
If this experience is teaching me anything it is that most of the things I think I need I can do without very easily. For example, I really thought I needed new boots for Winter because my old faithful favourites finally split in the sole. Then I thought about it and decided to stick to my plan and just do without them. It has not impacted on me one bit. I actually discovered yesterday that I have a brown pair which I never wear. They go quite well with one pair of my winter slacks for work.

I know I don’t need any more linens or towels. This has been a spending favourite of mine for as long as I can remember and we have plenty. This doesn’t stop me from being tempted to buy more, especially when I see it on sale.

Interestingly I have started thinking about some of the bigger things I want.
I really want to:
resurface the pool $8000
change the pool to a salt water chlorinator $1000
wall paper the master bedroom $$ no idea
have my own car $$ too many thousand dollars to even contemplate
build stables at the farm $$???
buy horses for said stables $$???
build a spa onto the pool – a really hot one (maybe that’s called a hot tub)

These are my major wants on the larger scale.
Individually they are all doable in time I suppose. Perhaps I need to be more proactive and put more money away in our savings each month. Maybe even a separate account for specific projects.

I do try to remind myself that not spending money on the small things should be helping us save for the larger stuff. One thing which is very disconcerting however is the constant mortgage interest rate increases. Hundereds of dollars per month every time that dreaded letter arrives and why? It has something to do with the reserve bank and money being worth more. I shall ask one of the many accountants I work with to explain.
Mmm, he explained…still seems like blatant money gauging to me.

However even the big things are not things I need. They are things I want and maybe one day I shall have. I already have all the important things.
For example, someone commented recently on some photos of my children. They said they looked very happy. I accepted this without further thought at the time.
It has struck me since that not all children are as happy as my children. I snuck into their bedroom on the weekend to see them playing one of their make believe games on their bedroom couch. They were both grinning ear to ear. So happy, so secure, so content…so lucky. I realised that Justin and I must be doing something right. I was very proud of us and proud of them.

Happy children…
Makes everything else seem fantastically unimportant!

Well I totally blew this whole thing out of the water last week.
First off Jus made me really angry and I ripped into him as I am want to do. The apology I anticpated binged onto my iPhone and made me really sad. Jus was feeling crumby about a bunch of things and his apology was so heartfelt I completely melted. I think that part of my brain must have melted too as I ran out the door and bought him an iPad to cheer him up.

It worked by the way…

The craziest thing about the whole experience was how fantastic I felt after spending all that money. Yes, of course I bought the 64GB one. I was on cloud nine for at least 48 hours. Admittedly part of this was becasue I knew Jus would be so thrilled. But I must acknowledge that some of it must also be a bit of shopaholic in me. I really never realised how much pleasure I take in buying stuff. And I miss it. I want to shop. It is pathetic and I am so glad I am trying to stop.

The iPad is probably a little bit tax deductible as Jus works with every gadget under the sun. I think that makes it a little less of a crack in my plan. Well I guess I just have to get back to the plan.

I did however have one other spending experience last week. A good friend of Genevieve’s had her birthday party and we bought her a scrap book and decorated it. And yes, by we I do mean me. The kids probably would have liked to help. But I was having far too much fun.

Anyhoo, so far so good this week. I have completely blown the budget with the iPad. Jus is thrilled and I must admit that makes me happier than my no spending pledge.

It is 10am now and after getting up well before the sun to catch a very early flight to Chinchilla we could not land when we got there. So we flew back to Brisbane in the plane with no heating…OMG absolutely freezing…and now I am in the office. I have bought myself a large hot coffee from the cafe downstairs and I am going to update my blog while I defrost and try to figure out what to focus on today.

On a positive note it is a very good coffee, something Chinchilla lacks, and I will be able to go home and see my family at a reasonable hour tonight. On the downside I am stuck wearing steel toe work boots all day.

I must update you that we were very lucky and no one caught poor Bazzie’s tummy bug. I was very careful with what I ate on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. But all was well with everyone. Yay! Hopefully Gen’s runny nose will clear up soon and we might have a few months of health after these last few months of the opposite.

Yesterday I very nearly bought Justin some new pyjamas. He has been wearing his Summer ones and hogging the heater. I found myself inexorably drawn toward my beloved Peter Alexander store. I was actually all the way to the corner across from the plaza. I stopped to wait for the walk sign and the pause must have given me time to think. What are you doing Marina. Not spending money…hello!!!
So I came back to the office with just my sushi and no lovely be-ribboned bag with soft warm gorgeous PA PJs. I felt a bit sad, then I felt a bit stupid.

When we were in the car yesterday afternoon Justin started trying to convince me again of how much I need an iPad. Which is really all about him wanting an iPad and his desperation to get my approval. This has been made worse by the governments recent discovery that they underpaid us for our family tax benefit in 2006/07 financial year. The arrival of a few thousand dollars made Justin quite sure he could buy an iPad. Instead we have serviced the car and paid bills and actually have some money left over after being paid. I quite like this effect and we do not need an iPad. I concede they are lovely and if we did not already have a Mac Book Pro 17″ (Justin’s work computer) a 20″ iMac which is less than a year old, two iPhones, an iPod touch an apple TV and even a ‘classic’ Mac which is in a closet somewhere, then maybe I could see that we need this device. However we simply do not need one. I am sure we will have one eventually. But not before April 11 next year at the very earliest. I told Justin that I had almost bought him new pyjamas and he said with feeling “don’t buy me pyjamas…if you have spare money for gifts save it up for my iPad.” He is trying so hard to find a reason to buy one. So last night he dug out his winter pyjamas. I thought this was very funny. He really does not want me spending money on anything that might be seen as his iPad fund.

On the flight back to Brisbane I read the first few chapters of my new novel Keiran, the sequel to Erana. Gosh it’s fun. I can’t wait to work on it some more. I am going to make time this weekend. Having the time to get back into my writing, even if it was only reading where I am up to, was such a blessing. I am definitely primed to take a big chunk out of it this weekend.

My lovely Genevieve woke me up this morning by gently stroking my hair. After I muttered my awakedness she said “Bazzie just threw up. He threw up mostly watermelon and some of it is on the carpet, but it’s mostly in the kitchen.”
Oh God, I thought, thanked Genevieve for telling me and shuffled out to assess the situation. I honestly can’t remember what I found. The day has been a daze of sitting with Baz and rubbing his back. And sitting with Baz over bowls and on the toilet. We’ve watched an inordinate amount of mind numbing television. But what else can you do when your little man is between bouts of heaving. He has been very brave and hardly cried at all. He did not inherit this ability from me. I almost always cry if I throw up. Having sat with Sebastien all day I will most likely being crying within the next 24 to 48 hours. I could cry just thinking about it. But I shall be brave.

Genevieve was worried that she had made Bazzie sick. She had given him some watermelon when he asked for it and was worried that it had made him sick. How sweet is that. I reassured her of course that it was not the watermelon and that she was very good to get him some watermelon while mum and dad enjoy an extra hour of sleep on the weekends. It never ceases to amaze me that the children wake up so much earlier on weekend days. We have to drag them from their slumber every day of the week and then on Saturdays they start to have a party before the sun is up. It is bizarre.

I managed to prise Bazzie off me and pop him into his room to watch Scooby Doo while I popped in a video that didn’t involve animation. It was called Motherhood and was so completely apropos today. Uma Thurman was losing her mind surrounded by hippy mums and their organic sunscreen and wealthy mums looking down their noses at her. It was wonderfully realistic and made me feel very clever for having survived those years with toddlers.

So it is 6pm now and I have just had a shower and changed from one pair of pyjamas to another LOL. Some odd version of Alice in Wonderland is on now and I am really struggling to string these sentences together with all that Tim Burton colour distracting me. Jus tells me that Baz threw up again while I was in the shower. Poor little guy. So my dilemna now is should we eat dinner. It is very likely that at least one of us will be sick tonight so is it wise to put anything in?

Completely absorbed with Alice now…No-one wants dinner…not a good sign

I have been so good. I have not bought a thing in ages. Justin swears it is making a great difference to our finances but I am unconvinced. Perhaps I need more time to see the advantages.
I had a total system break down today. Genevieve is down to one pair of blue track pants for school and Sebastien only has one pair which are not the right colour blue and they have a small hole in one knee.
Needless to say something had to be done so I broke all the rules and headed to Big W at lunch time. The universe obviously agreed with my exception to my 365 day challenge because the items I needed were on sale.
I was very careful anyway and only bought 3 pair for Sebastien and 2 for Genevieve.
Well that is almost true…
I did buy Gen a pink pair as well because I simply cannot find her pair from last Winter. They were very cheap and will keep her warm and healthy so I am sure this is an allowable exception also.

We spent the weekend at the Gold Coast and it was wonderful.  I stayed clear of all the wonderful shops with the exception of this little Asian Grocer next to the resort. Wow they had some great stuff.  Genevieve begged me to take her in because she has been wanting an Asian fan for ages.  We ended up with 7 of them and a good luck bell for Bazzie.

OOPS

The fans are beautiful none-the-less
And as the picture proves the beach was divine

I can’t believe I have made it through another week without spending any money.  Admittedly I have been so busy this week I havent’ stepped foot out of the office but none-the-less, a win is a win.

I decided I had better post a quick note to keep myself on track.  I have had two near misses this week.  Genevieve began ballet classes again at a new ballet school on Wednesday and I could not find her leotard anywhere on Tuesday night.  I was ready to jump online and order something from the Bloch store.  I grabbed my trusty iPhone and Wow I wanted to buy a leotard for me too.  And they have these awesome pants that probably make you feel like your dancing.  I was so very tempted and I enjoyed looking at all this dance gear very much.  Fortunately Justin dicovered that the leotard and skirt had been laundered and hung in Gen’s cupboard and then covered up with a jacket.

So one near miss.
The second has just happened.  A new ezibuy catalogue.  Gosh it looks good.  I have opened it.  I am looking.  I must put it in the kitchen or in the bin.  If I take it home I will start making plans and folding corners over.  I must put it in the kitchen.  But I really don’t want to.  Shall I.  Can I have a quick flick through or am I tempting fate too far.

I guess I will report on my progress over the long weekend

True confessions…
I went to the market to buy tea and bought a few more things than tea.
In my defence they were all necessary edible things, and I would have bought them at the Supermarket if not at the markets.  I think perhaps I need to change this rule to be I will only take $20 cash to the markets and when that’s spent that’s all I can buy.  Mmm, maybe $40???

I found 25+ active Manuka Honey…how can you not buy that.  Ok, ok ok, you’re right, I should not go at all.  Deep breath.  Just tea Marina, just tea.  Well I will try again next week.

We are attending a wedding on Saturday (luckily I bought myself and Genevieve new frocks before this new challenge).  I would really like to buy a new tie for Jus.  I really want to.  But I am not going to.  I am being very strong I think.

My ezibuy catalogue arrived today.  I put it straight in the magazine pile in the lunch room.  I was very proud of my success.

On the way home my daughter Genevieve was upset that her favourite DVD had gone back to the rental store.  My immediate response was “don’t worry darling, Mummy will buy you one.”  I quickly reminded myself and Gen that Mummy wasn’t allowed to shop and that I am not buying any presents this year.  When she asked me why I said for expediency (as we were arriving home and piling out of the car with all the bags etc) that it was so we could have horses one day.  We have a farm you see and it is true that if I can be better with money long term, we could have horses and go riding.

This seemed like a good trade off to Gen…

Test one and two on day 3 passed with flying colours…YAY me!

What is this bizarre idea?  Having it all…

I think this bothers the feminist in me.

Is having a job and children, having it all?

Is being famous and wealthy, having it all?

Is it all about counting your achievements and adding to their number as regularly as possible?

Well all I know is that life is good.  I don’t have it all, but I must say I have most of what I want.  So in the interest of exploring the idea I will list the things that make up my ‘all’.

1. Great Husband
2. Gorgeous healthy kids (girl and boy)
3. Job I enjoy
4. Great boss
5. Good friends…but not very many (quality not quantity)
6. Finished my first book
7. Ideas flowing for next one
8. I just love my house
9. Having a pool has to count in my top 10 as a Queenslander
10. Leather Couch in front of Sony Bravia beneath wonderful AC
11. Several apple computers and brilliant husband to run all the tech
12. iPhone
13. Time with my Mum
14. Peter Alexander ‘jamas (becoming an obsession)
15. After 12 months of training I can run for 30 minutes without stopping

So these are all things that make me happy to roll out of bed 5 days a week and head off to earn the almighty dollar.  Do I have it all?  I guess that depends on one’s perspective.  I think the question is really just plain sexist.  No-one ever says it about men.  A lot of women would have a very different list and what is wrong with that…Nothing at all.

So the morale of the story, be happy!  Have it all, whatever it all is for you.

Way too deep for a Tuesday but I had to start my new blog with something.

Cheers

Marina